EPISODE 1
The grass is greener where you water it
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Opening
I’m Andrea Justine and this is The Mindful Ear. A podcast about learning how to care for every aspect of your life. By holding space to curiously observe what thoughts and feelings are uncovered. When you focus on making a sincere connection to a lived experience.
Each week I’ll be exploring where a quote or well known saying resonates in my life. So that I can unearth new discoveries about my behaviour and begin to understand how to practice, more of the values that really matter to me.
Before we get started I would like to welcome you to the very first episode. This podcast is something I have wanted to create for a while. And I’m really excited to share it with the world – literally. The aim of each episode is to create space to sincerely reflect on lived experiences. In order to deepen our connection with ourselves and discover ways to practice the values that matter to us the most. So that we can achieve more hopeful outcomes.
So what will we be doing each week? Each week we’ll be anaylsing a quote or well known saying through a specific theme. The theme is there to aid the process of making an intentional connection to the text. Which creates a way in, for us to curiously observe where the quote – and theme – resonates in our lived experience. To give this process structure. I’ll use modified frameworks of sacred reading practices. What is a sacred reading practice? A sacred reading practice is a contemplative way of reading. Most often used for scripture and other religious text. It is a practice used by faith-led persons, inorder to deepen their connection to their beliefs. And open their hearts to receiving a message that will enable them to practice their faith-led values as a more prominent part of their day to day lives. And they do this by creating a meaningful connection within the text. One that resonates on a personal level. Sacred reading practices are believed to be able to reveal things about the reader that they may otherwise overlook. And help the reader to make sense of their place within their communities, both near and far.
I’m not a faith-led person. However, the sentiment and intended benefits of sacred reading practices align with my personal goals. Particularly making sense of my place in my community both near and far. As well as being a pretty neat way for me to act on the mission of this podcast. So I thought to myself, what if I used these practices, with slight modifications here and there. To create the space needed for lived experiences to be cared for holistically. And without judgement. What are the benefits of treating our lived experiences as sacred?
I guess the answer to that is TBD. However, I am optimistic and excited to learn what those gifts, what those benefits, will be. And how those discoveries can be used to progress towards the most hopeful outcome. Of loving life. Not because it is perfect, or easy. Or because all it’s faults have been forgiven. But because there is a greater understanding and appreciation, of its complexity.
Introduction
The first quote to kick things of is “The grass is greener where you water it”. And the theme to make an intentional connection with the quote is ‘being present’. I think this quote is a great metaphor for what being present looks like in practice. As being present is all about existing in that very small window of time that always moves at the pace of life, never holding back in fear of something from the past happening again. Never chasing after a future that is unknown and still to be defined. And never being sucked into a doom scroll to avoid dealing with how you really feel.
The sacred reading practice that will be used to help us observe where this text resonates Lectio Divina. Lectio Divina is structured in 4 parts. And in my opinion is a good introduction framework to something like this. And will be one that we’ll use often over the coming weeks.
Lectio Divina - Step 1
The first step of Lectio Divina is to read the text and consider what it is saying to you.
When I read the quote “The grass is greener where you water it”. It’s saying if I want green grass I need to water it. I need to care for it, to look after it. And whatever part if the grass I do that to will be the part of the grass that is greener. The parts I do not do that too will be less green, less well looked after.
Lectio Divina - Step 2
Step two of Lectio Divina calls for reflection on any word or phrase that stands out.
What stands out to me when I read the quote “The grass is greener where you water it”. Is “Where you water it”. The words are very directive. And accurately describe the concept of being present. Wherever you give your attention, that is what becomes enlarged. If someone starts talking to you about what a great holiday they had. Then you start thinking about how long it has been since your last holiday. And what your last holiday was like. Your attention has been taken away and you’ll likely tune out the other persons story, as you fall deeper into your own. Or another example that we’re all guilty of is spending all of our time looking for the perfect moment to do something that we really want to. That we miss out on all the good enough times to do it. And very likely end up not doing it at all, even though we have the ability and equipment and whatever else to do it.
Lectio Divina - Step 3
Step three of Lectio Divina calls for contemplation of where the text touches your life.
At this stage you want to consider how the quote and the theme can be applied to your lived experience. The experience can be something from the present day or something from your past. Give yourself time to reflect and allow your thoughts to flow freely. There are no wrong answers.
When I reflect on where this quote touches my life. And contemplate on what parts are most watered. The most watered are the past and the many imagined futures. I am always thinking about the future. Imagining different things I’d like to achieve. And also things I can do, to not get caught out by things that have happened in my past. So this quote really resonates with me, especially with the theme of being present. Which is not something that I do very well, or very often.
Since a very young age, my mind has always skipped over the present. It only really made it into my conscious mind when I was past it. And I would then spend time figuring out what I can do better, or avoid, next time. Growing up my thoughts were consumed by what I could do, that would make things better tomorrow, next week, next month, 5 years from now. Or replaying interactions that had happened with alternate, imagined, outcomes. Even now, there are times I feel like if I only focus on right now I won’t be prepared for an impending danger, that is bound to be just around the corner. Or I’ll miss the opportunity to hone the skills needed to finally prove to the world, how great a human I am and therefore how deserving I am of all the good things I hope for.
All my dreams growing up were solely focused on an imagined future. One where I was “a somebody”. A somebody who mattered and qualified for all the things they hoped for – friends, people that cared about them, romantic interests etc. And in my mind the qualifying criteria for that was, excellence. So all I thought about through school, college and Uni was how I could be a better swimmer, a better person, a better dancer, a more attractive person, a more studious person. Just how could I better, how could I get straight A’s at life. I didn’t spend much time being present. Because I believed if I could be excellent, I would get all I wanted and more anyway in this future I had imagined.
And with sincere reflection that’s probably not the most constructive way to go about things. I’m a 30 something now, who is pretty excellent at doing things other people want them to do. Just ask any of my old managers, how easy I made their jobs. Because I was like, “oh there’s a problem, I’ll figure out how to fix it”. But somehow, it still doesn’t feel as if I have qualified for, all the things I’d imagined when I was growing up. So with this quote in mind – “The grass is greener where you water it” – I’m wondering if this is the outcome of me watering an imagined grass. One that was always out of reach, because it was never really real and could be filled with anything and everything I ever wanted. Rather than watering a grass that was within reach, and very real. And one that could have blossomed even more beautifully, had I given it sufficient care and attention.
And it’s not as if my grass is not green. It’s just the grass I was watering – the imagined grass, the one that required excellence and straight A’s at life – has every hearts desire from every stage of my life. So it’s bound to feel greener because there is so much emotion – water – that has gone in it creating it. And has been made way more alluring than the hum-drum of every day life.
Maybe some of you can relate. The intention of imagining the future was pure. I genuinely thought, there would be an equal and abundant pay off from working twice as hard, and being excellent. So the future I imagined was there to motivate me. However, it became less motivating the older and further into adulting I got, and the cracks in my imagined future started to reveal themselves.
Lectio Divina - Step 4
The final step of Lectio Divina calls for consideration of what the connection with the text is calling you to do.
Here is where you consider how the discovery can be put into action. What have you learnt about yourself, your values, or your beliefs. How can you use those learnings to progress towards more hopeful ooutcomes?
The quote “The grass is greener where you water it” has given me a lot to think about.
I definitely feel called to acknowledge the overlooked opportunities to be present. And to spend more time watering the real life grass.
I feel I would benefit from making more of an effort to acknowledge what I have achieved. And the positive feedback that I have been given, from friends, colleagues or helping a stranger. Taking time to make a connection with this quote, has really shown me how easily I skip over those moments. And only look for moments where I feel I need to improve or get better a something. And in that sense the “needs to improve grass” is what gets all the water, all the attention. And continues to make me feel as if I am still so far away from there I need to be. To qualify for that imagined greener grass I thought all those years ago.
Showing myself compassion is something I want to be better at. So I am excited to see how actively looking and listening for moments of affirmation. Moments of excellence let’s say. Excellence in air-quotes by the way. Will help me to practice that value more often. As well as working to be more present.
Honestly, I love my active imagination. So I’m not going to stop imagining things. However, I do want to be more intentional about what I am giving my attention to. And free myself from the rigid belief that excellence, generally as well as specifically, in the eyes of others. Is the only way to enable you to receive all that your heart desires. Which was an ever present condition in the future I imagined for myself growing up. So another way I will show myself compassion is to acknowledge when I’m imagining an outcome that is dependent on me being a better [fill in the blank] or excellent at [fill in the blank]. Which would also be a good trigger to bring myself back into the present moment. To consider what I can do, free of conditions, in order to gain the desired outcome.
Closing remarks
I hope that you have enjoyed this episode. And have taken time to reflect on where this quote resonates in your life. And observed what opportunities there are for you to reshape the beliefs that aren’t serving you.
To end this podcast I want to express my gratitude for my younger self and leave a message of encouragement for them and anyone else who needs to hear it in this moment.
As you imagine a future that is not yet defined. If it is peppered with the belief that who you are, in this moment is not good enough for who you want to be. You will be conditioning yourself to only see your faults, and you’ll over look the magic that is in and around you everyday. So, every so often, congratulate yourself for something you did just because you liked that you did it. It can be anything. And you’ll do this, to remind yourself that your opinion of who you are matters just as much – if not more.