How I’m going to do more to enjoy the journey, after listening to a podcast episode from How Married Are You?
I have difficulty enjoying the journey. Because at the same time as being told to enjoy the journey, there is a constant stream of stories of those who appear to have an ability to leapfrog the journey portion and become “an overnight success”. Fast-tracking them to, appear to, lead a life that is free of all the journey mishaps and full of endless possibilities.
Being witness to this, at times when the journey seems only to serve a purpose of illuminating the vast distance between the here and now and the over there and later. It feels disheartening to be further delayed from getting to the imagined happiness after achieving the [fill in the blank] goal. When so much time, effort and energy has already been invested.
Those who have experienced the sinking feeling of being behind in life, will know it can be hard to dust yourself off and keep trying. Choosing who to confide in about these feelings is an equally laboured process. Speaking to the wrong person could leave you feeling like you are being brushed off, and that your feelings are being minimised against the backdrop of the bigger picture. And the words of encouragement offered from those that do care, are well intentioned. But. Being told to enjoy the journey, doesn’t exactly tell you what that looks like in practice.
In this post I am going to share how a podcast episode from How Married Are You? has helped me gain a practical understanding of what “enjoy the journey” looks like in practice.
Why is it important to enjoy the journey?
Burnout has become a more prominent discussion topic over recent years. From Youtubers taking a long hiatus, to individuals choosing to change jobs and/or be more strict with the limits of their working hours. Pre-2020 I’m not sure I was aware of the term burnout, though I had definitely experienced the feelings of it. So I take comfort and am a little inspired by the courage of someone acknowledging that they can no longer operate at a capacity where their outputs outweigh the inputs.
For me, single-mindedly pursuing a goal, with an extreme practice of delayed gratification, has led me to, at times, feel burnt out. I’d question why I started down said path in the first place, and the idea of enjoying the journey was laughable. After listening to an How Married Are You podcast episode, titled enjoy the journey. I have gained a better understanding of why it is important to enjoy the journey and how, at times, the journey can be more important than the end destination
Accept that a journey is a necessary part of achieving your goal
What I loved the most about this episode is how the backdrop to illustrate what enjoy the journey looks like in practical terms, was a family road trip. Where a physical journey is at its core, they would not get from where they started to and to their holiday destination without it.
When I set my sights on achieving something, I am guilty of overlooking the journey part of the plan. I will make a plan to a timescale that is heavy on optimism and extremely light on realism. So when things don’t go to plan, or rather when I acknowledge how long it will actually take, the perceived delays are frustrating.
In the podcast episode this was illustrated by the increased number of bathroom breaks they needed to make on the journey to the holiday destination. Rather than getting frustrated by it, they chose to practice patience and accept it as a necessary part of their chosen transportation method, travelling by car rather than an RV.
By accepting that a journey is a necessary part of achieving a goal, we can remain flexible to accommodate when things go off course. And rather than seeing them as obstacles preventing us from progressing. They become lessons about the choices made. And something to improve on, should we find ourselves in a similar circumstance later down the line.
Give yourself permission to enjoy the journey as the passenger as well as the participant
When it comes to achieving our goals we want to be the one in the driving seat. No one will take our goals as seriously as we do, right? Though there is some truth in that sentiment, there is also a lot of pressure. Approaching a goal with the belief that you have to do it alone, can lead to taking on tasks that exceed our capabilities. Which could lead to more delays and increased frustrations. The alternative to this would be reaching for help from those more experienced. This will mean relinquishing some control for a short while. But if it keeps you on track to achieving the overall goal, isn’t that worth it.
This point of view was explicitly referenced in the podcast episode. It was more suggested within the context of the conversations. Where each parent knew they needed to support the other in managing their physical and emotional energy levels in order to complete the car journey without too much “fuss”.
Giving yourself permission to be a passenger helps you to enjoy the journey by giving you an alternative perspective. Helps you stay connected to why you started on the journey in the first place. And can give a boost to motivate you to continue working toward your goals.
Make sure to reflect on what you have achieved so far, especially during times when it is a challenge to enjoy the journey
Unexpected delays and unforeseen circumstances are the most frustrating part of any journey, literal or metaphorical. And it’s during moments when it feels as if the steaks couldn’t be higher, that the idea of enjoying the journey is out of sight out of mind.
In the podcast episode they talk about how unforeseen circumstances related to work deadlines made the road trip back feel different. Now there was extra pressure to be able to get back in a timely fashion to be able to resolve the issue and still make the deadline. But in the way of achieving that goal was a looooong car journey.
Those that drive will know, operating a car requires a high level of concentration. Even if it is a short journey, being distracted by things that were out of their control or are frustrating you can impact your ability to fully concentrate on operating the vehicle and being mindful of the various road hazards. In the podcast episode they acknowledge that realised remaining frustrated by the length of the journey and the impending deadline would not get them back sooner, or resolve the problem impacting the deadline. So they made a decision to keep themselves motivated by giving themselves encouragement at intervals along the journey. Acknowledging how well they were driving and, more importantly, how far they had travelled in comparison to where they started.
This reference has so much in common with another well used journey phrase, celebrate all the small wins. By congratulating themselves for completing small tasks as part of the bigger journey, kept them motivated to keep driving. Because if you have already travelled 100 miles, travelling 50 more miles is light work.
Being able to change your perspective during the challenging times of your journey towards your goals. Is the best way to stay motivated and enjoy the journey, even when it seems impossible.
Final thoughts
If this podcast episode wasn’t framed against the backdrop of a physical journey I’m not sure I would have connected to it as much. I have been told many times to enjoy the journey, and I’ve not been able to connect to an idea of what that looks like in practice until now.
I hope by sharing the ways I intend to make more effort to enjoy the journey, it will inspire you to do the same.l would love to hear what your key takeaways are from the episode, if you have listened to it. And let me know if you have suggestions of ways in which we can do more to enjoy the journey of life, as we continue to strive towards our goals.
Join to the Au Atelier Mailing List
As part of the mailing list you will receive a monthly round-up of podcast episodes and series I’ve listened to. That deliver comfort, support and a whole lot of laughs.
Plus exclusive offers, behind the scenes content and early access to product launches.
Not to mention joining a community of like minded individuals. Doing the work to create space to support their growth into the biggest version of themselves.
