“Purpose becomes real when it connects you to something that fulfils you.”
With so much of our time committed to doing things that are necessary, even if unfulfilling. It is no wonder it can feel hard to figure out what our purpose is.
Purpose is often presented to us as something that is obvious and loud. Something that is unavoidable and instantly recognisable to us and others. Though in truth, purpose reveals itself slower through intentional awareness and observation. More often concealed in the personally meaningful and intentional acts, our purpose is often overlooked. It shows up in the moments that are felt to bring alignment to what is believed and valued most. And is felt to be lacking in the moments that feel the most personally challenging.
At work this can reveal itself as feeling drained from a meeting where the ideas from the loudest person in the room were carried forward, even at the detriment of other more sound ideas. Or in the feelings of relief when a friend shares a positive update on a personal challenge you have been supporting them with.
Why Connecting to What’s Fulfilling Matters?
Giving attention to what fulfils you will slowly reveal what truly matters to you. The goal is to observe the daily interactions and activities that give a sense of alignment. Or in some instances a sense of misalignment. What are the moments or interactions that boosted you? What was lacking from the interactions that felt draining? At first it will be challenging to put it into words. Through consistent practice a pattern will emerge and be your guide.
How Purpose is Shaped by Connecting to What’s Fulfilling
There is a lot of discourse around purpose which can lead you to believe it is something external and performative. Something that we have no influence over but are destined to be called to. Though for some, their purpose is something they feel indescribably aligned to and is reflected in how they chose to show up, treat others and interact with the world around them
Those choices don’t require performance. They are deeply connected to how they see themselves, how they want others to see and treat them, and where they add value. Over time, recognising when there is and isn’t alignment creates a kind of relational rhythm.
The key to this is recognising what you can’t yet name. When you take note of a moment that felt meaningful but indescribable, you’re capturing something your conscious mind can work to articulate it. Over time, as you collect these moments, patterns emerge as you begin to see what threads connect them. A meeting that left you energised. A conversation where you felt truly heard. A decision that aligned with how you want to show up. Individually, they feel like isolated good moments. Together, they reveal the shape of what matters to you. The practice works because repetition makes the invisible visible. You’re training yourself to recognise alignment when it happens, rather than waiting for one dramatic moment to define your purpose.
Your increased awareness builds your trust in your own ability to sense what feels fulfilling. And the patterns in choices and decisions that have informed your lived experience are revealed.
A simple practice to carry with you
At the end of each day, make a note of any moment or interaction that left you feeling something you couldn’t quite name. Don’t overthink it, or expand into lots of detail, just capture it.
It might look something like this:
Tuesday: The team meeting where I felt the need to defend/speak up about the work that had been done, as conversations suggested no efforts had been made. Felt exhausting and demotivating.
Thursday: Coffee with James where he actually asked how I was doing. Felt seen. Wanted to show up more generously after that.
Friday: Declined the weekend get together. Felt guilty immediately, but also lighter. Confusing.
You’re not looking for profound insights. You’re looking for how moments made you feel. Over time, you’ll notice the patterns and begin to see which areas of your life you feel the most fulfiled. These quiet recognitions are more reliable than waiting for a “calling” because they’re based on what you’ve actually experienced, not what you think you should want.
A note on when this works best:
This practice works particularly well if you have some freedom in how you spend your time and who you spend it with. The practice is about observing what fulfils you; it assumes you’ll eventually have some agency to act on what you learn. If that’s not your current reality, that’s worth acknowledgin
What you gain From Connecting to What’s Fulfilling?
A shift happens with increased observance of what energises you and what deflates you.
Self-compassion instead of self-blame:
When you observe what energises you and what deflates you through this practice, you create distance from the belief that something is wrong with you. A draining meeting isn’t a reflection of your weakness, it’s recognition that you don’t thrive in environments where ideas are dominated by volume rather than merit. The shift from “I’m not cut out for this” to “this situation doesn’t align with how I work best” is where rumination softens.
Growing trust in your own intuition:
Each time you notice and name an indescribable moment, you’re practising the skill of sensing what feels right. This builds confidence. Over time, you stop second-guessing yourself as much, recognise your own signals; the relief, the dread, the aliveness. And you trust them more readily. You become less reliant on external validation to tell you whether something matters.
Discovering adjacencies:
Once you see a pattern, for instance you repeatedly feel fulfilled when bringing people together, you can begin to explore variations of that. Leading a small group. Hosting something. Creating space for others to connect. You’re not waiting for one predetermined purpose to reveal itself; you’re actively building on what you already know feels good. This turns purpose from a distant mystery into something you can actually build, one small choice at a time.
Why this practice matters
Observing these moments helps you see that you’re already living purposefully in small ways, you just haven’t named it yet. This practice doesn’t create purpose; it reveals what’s already guiding your choices. Over time, what feels scattered and confusing begins to take shape. You stop looking outside yourself for permission or clarity. Instead, you develop a quiet confidence in your own ability to know what matters, and the decisions you make, both big and small, begin to reflect that knowing more consistently. Purpose isn’t something you find. It’s something you recognise in the life you’re already living.
